These three words; love, sex and entrepreneurs shares a common bond i.e. “Human Relation”.
I have heard many tales of entrepreneurs who have no emotional and sexual drives because they are presumed to have complicated and busy lives. They are mocked as the entrepreneurs celibates.
Firstly, there is no such thing as entrepreneurial celibacy. Before anyone takes up a career as business owners, just as anybody makes career choices, they are humans with basic needs.
They have emotional, psychological and self fulfillment needs. One of those needs of fulfillment is achieving their full potentials, becoming entrepreneurs, exhibiting their senses of creativity, analyzing the framework of others needs and providing solutions to them.
The misconception of entrepreneurs have gone beyond just ordinary humans doing extra ordinary things – to ordinary humans missing out on ordinary human needs.
To be an entrepreneur, you ought to have a deeper understanding of the human needs. You have to understand your own needs, how to meet them and obtain satisfaction. Then, you can understand other’s needs and how to satisfy them. In my last article on Value, I noted that, businesses are founded and run by humans and without human needs, businesses won’t be needed. The whole concept of entrepreneurship and business revolves around human relations. Without the human factor, there would be nothing like businesses, entrepreneurs, customers etc.
Having established the human factor to these three words, let’s concentrate on what the first two means to the entrepreneur.
Everyone needs and deserves to know and feel it. Love is a special connection between two individuals and more. In social sciences, it’s one of the psychological needs of every human being. In business, it is exhibited between the customer for which the business was set up, and can go beyond that to the team that builds and runs it. There are many types of love but its basic understanding is what I’m referring to – the provision of satisfaction to get needs met.
And to the higher angle, the special bond between a man and a woman. This have had many entrepreneurs labeled “ too busy” to experience it. Most entrepreneurs are married and certainly in love. Entrepreneurship, is a process. The startup phase is a difficult one, just as much as the growth and sustainability. To find the balance, live and enjoy life as any other human, one must grow in the entrepreneurial process. To grow in the process simply means, drawing the line between being ordinary human first and living it and being a business owner and being the business. Now that sounds a lot and the understanding of it, is in the process of growth as well.
How many entrepreneurs are in love with their businesses? The answer perhaps, maybe almost all entrepreneurs.
How many entrepreneurs have married their businesses? The answer may be none at all.
The business is a mere an entity, run by a person. This may sound strange but if it is possible for humans to love their businesses, they could as well marry them. But who in their sane states would marry their businesses when they are billions of beautiful people to marry?
Here’s the truth; entrepreneurs are ordinary people, doing extraordinary things, who loves what they do, because they love the reasons (people) for doing what they do. And beyond the reasons why they love what they do, entrepreneurs are also just people who have the basic psychological needs; like fall in love, need love, deserves love and understands love.
One of the controversial things I don’t like to talk about. I am not a sex therapist, hence my views may be just anecdotal.
I have had a number of friends asked me; “do you have sex at all?” Other’s have asked me the weirdest questions ever on sex and love. I know you want to know what my answer was? Well, I’m an entrepreneur celibate. Haha
I have learnt a ton while working with other entrepreneurs and networks. Entrepreneurs have sex. These are very creative people, who understands the needs of other people. People with confidence, value nurturing relationships and generous souls.
Entrepreneurs are busy people, who work hours to run successful businesses. People in business do not talk about sex enough, maybe not at all if you do not belong to their circles. They talk about money, profits, deals, contracts, solutions, etc. Yes, some entrepreneurs let their passion for their work and businesses consume their sexual drive. Some Entrepreneurs mostly do not have open conversations about sex. It simply doesn’t mean, they are not interested or do not have it.
According to some surveys, a little over 5%of entrepreneurs have admitted to having improved sexual life and high sex drive since they started their own business.
In today’s business world, many young energetic entrepreneurs who are taking over entrepreneurship as compared to many years back, where older folks were owners of businesses have higher sex drive. The story is different today. Young people have high sexual drives which play a major role in their lives and businesses. Sex is good both for my he mind and body; sciences have proved to that”
The struggle that comes with entrepreneurial life, the toll it have on personal relationships etc, is a concern for erotic and intimate relationships. Running a startup business without any single damage to your love and sexual life would be a miracle. Truth is many entrepreneurs, have/are going down that sad path. The young entrepreneurs these days, value relationships. And most have supports from friends, families and loved ones. And understanding the human relationship is one of the most important aspect of entrepreneurship. The problem is, some entrepreneurs can not find the balance between work and romance. Some have misplaced the order of safety, passion, romance, and work. A few actually do have the balance. It is not an easy task.
I have heard some shared stories of entrepreneurs losing relationships and marriages to coming home late, plenty apologies, inability to meet their partners needs because they are always tired and stressed out and a few about commitment because most often they are more committed to their businesses than to their partners. This is not only in the case of entrepreneurs, many employees and other professionals are also faced with the challenges which has pervaded relationships.
The underlying cause is “balance”. Finding it between the thrill is actually everywhere – in all aspects of our lives. Treating erotic relationships with same commitments to business aren’t all that different. Carry the creativity, commitment, consistent work etc into sparking your sexual live. Another truth is, some entrepreneurs aren’t always busy. They are simply just not interested and n the love and sex topic. It is who they are.
There are many things that attributes to a successful entrepreneur. Many have failed and that would not be the end of the story. Many more people would continue to fail and succeed.
All entrepreneurs have different personalities. There are melancholics, sanguines, cholerics etc. Every one have ways and levels of understanding- intelligence. Because all entrepreneurs are different, their personal decisions and choices would certainly be different as well.
The issue is that, since every entrepreneur is different in their own ways, runs their businesses differently, their desires and understanding human relationships may equally vary. This means, after all said and done, all entrepreneurs are human beings. Every human regardless their differences, choices, personality types, they all have these common needs according to the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs in these three levels.
a. Self-fulfillment needs
b. Psychological needs
c. Basic needs
These underlines the fact that, even though entrepreneurs are different, have special abilities and high levels of creativity, they also do have the basic needs of love, sex among others.
The balance, which is difficult to find between work and personal relationship, may distinguish the barrier between the successful and growing entrepreneurs as well.
The entrepreneurial journey is not an easy one. To have at the back of your mind that, relationships are important to your business and personal success is the first major step to succeed.
Being in a world of constant change, where some things would never change; sex, love among other basic needs of humans will never change.
The mystery of love and sex is often channeled by extremely active people such as entrepreneurs, to focus on any activity or work. Science would describe it as stimulant. Knowing that someone loves you dearly enough to to stand by you when your business fails or facing challenges is safety. It is assuring in the heats of running a business, that someone has your back. It gives you the boost to not let them down or disappoint them, exhibit the highest level of creativity and intelligence.
We live in a world where too many people settle for mediocrities. We all want to be special. We all want to do great things. But because we fail to do them or achieve them, we find the excuses in other people’s success. Entrepreneurs do not only have these needs and fall short to satisfying them. Every human does.
Most people think very little of entrepreneurs when it comes expressing these important words; love and sex. These are not the only problems of entrepreneurs. Sex and love are every human most strongest needs. Entrepreneurs are simply human beings too.
Here’s a very short story of a young man I encountered, who shared his sexual and love challenges with me when I decided to write on this topic. I will choose to call him the “businessman”.
I met businessman at a networking event. While we shared some experiences, I told him, I’m writing something on love, sex and entrepreneurs. The businessman laughed. Straight to the story, businessman said; “I loved her. I gave the relationship my all but she kept asking for me. Honestly, I didn’t have more. All the years I invested went down the drain. I worked hard because I wanted to help others and eventually myself and the future with my former fiancée. It ended badly, I’m not sure I have fully recovered though. Now, I focus all my energy into what I’m building. I have sexual drives as per your topic, I’m a man and it’s assumed normal. But it is not. But when I have such urge, I channel them into work. It has never been easy, but since I’ve been celibate deliberately for some years now, I have achieved so much than I was sexually active. It’s a conscious decision to abstain and wait for the right time. So to your question, yes, I have such needs as a man, but I choose to direct the energy into my business for now”.
In the businessman’s story, he’s drive motivates him to work better. Other’s may have different options.
As an entrepreneur, it is your first obligation to know yourself, what your needs are, how to meet them, and the best ways they can help you grow. You can never understand the needs of your customers unless you have fully understood yours as your own first customer.
Entrepreneurs have needs as humans, but first meet them. When you fail at it, remember the later – entrepreneurs are only humans.